Frederick Sommer:

The infinitely near
is as far
as the infinitely far
all things linger
where time
builds eternity

Frederick Sommer

Rumi

A pearl goes up for auction.
No-one has enough, so the pearl buys itself.

Rumi

Meaning

If the belief that existence has meaning is the height of conceit, then Anarchists are the most enlightened beings on the planet. Or, perhaps a strong belief in a specific meaning to life just usually has conceit as its concomitant, but does not necessarily follow. Probably then, conceit, as it inveigles itself into the psyche, destroying subtlety and creating ignorance, is the biggest enemy of spiritual growth.

Enemies

The creation of an enemy (paranoia) is a means to escape responsibility.

imagination

Is imagination always a response to suffering?

White fear

A few nights ago I suffered a bout of insomnia. I kept thinking there was someone in the house. At one point I was convinced the bathroom window had just been forced open. I stood at my bedroom door wondering what to do. Should I confront the intruder or just go back to bed and pretend nothing was happening? I doubted if I could intimidate him in any way; he was more likely to laugh at me, a skinny little man, standing shivering in the cold, wearing tight blue thermal pj’s. As it turned out, there was no one in the house. But on the same night our neighbours were broken into, while they were awake, and the ensuing commotion must have disturbed my sleep.

Nobody wants to read another tale about fear and violence, and this isn’t one, but there is a sense of obligation, when reading these accounts, to bear witness, to sympathize with the victims, and condemn the perpetrators. However, condemnation turns so easily into prejudice, and when the victims are family members or friends the change can be seamless. And when people become fearful, injured pride can easily lead them to become hateful. At a restaurant recently, I watched a black waiter who, while serving a white family, became so intimidated that he was started to shake and stutter. The sneering, angry looking mother had so much expectation of incompetence that it became reality.

Then, while visiting a local business, filled with white customers, a black man entered to hand over an order written on a piece of ragged cardboard. There was a hush, and suppressed laughter, as the man kept his head lowered and mumbled an explanation. Afterwards, the owner, who I knew to be liberal-minded, laughed along with his customers - I was flabbergasted that such a scene could have occurred in his store. There is often a gap between our beliefs and our actions - our challenge is to find ways to close it.

Walking a long road towards a campsite near the Kwa-zulu Natal / Free-state border recently, it was interesting to note how my speed decreased as I relaxed, and as my body tried to conserve energy. And I remembered driving with a successful businessman in his smart car; he looked at people walking slowly to work saying, ‘See how lazy they are - look how slowly they are walking.’ It never crossed his mind to think how far they had probably already walked, and how little their destinations promised them in the way of job satisfaction. And at a campsite, someone saying, ‘there is no excuse to be poor’—he had never experienced real poverty. Often prejudice is a result of differences in experience in combination with a lack of empathy. Hitchhiking home to Pietermaritzburg, I stood at an intersection for a while, watching as cars drove past me—white faces studiously looking in other directions. How to be invisible: ask for help from strangers. Soon enough, a black man in a beat-up bakkie offered me a lift. The bakkie had a steering problem—at slow speeds it would start to veer in different directions. As we made our way home in the hazy winter afternoon, alternately weaving or speeding, we talked freely, and I felt part of the burden of fear I was carrying lift.

The mental failings, which characterize the prejudiced in our province, and globally—the widespread nervousness and fear, anger and hatred, aversion and scorn—are overcome through contact with people who are different; through cultivating a sense of equality, with the realization that we have a common potentiality; through the understanding that we all experience the same problems and sufferings associated with beings who love, and lose those who they love, who wish for security and peace, but are deprived of it.

Summer Sun

I am sunk into this day

like a man in a grave

I can feel myself age

every moment I stay

She says:

The only path goes through the wall (der einzige weg führt durch die wand)

Fragility

"When you see a skeleton, all bare and white, in a film, you’re scared, aren't you? Yes, of course you are. But a skeleton, just like that goes with you everywhere... When you eat, when you write, when you laugh, even when you shop, there's always a white skeleton with you, with white ribs, with a skull and teeth and gaping sockets instead of eyes, as in all the pictures. When you have a woman, for instance, it's really just two skeletons grinding together. And if you can't hear the terrible noise which would turn the whole thing into a macabre joke, that’s just because there's still a soft layer in between. But it’s only temporary, Harrismann, it's perishable; it's made of a moist substance that rots easily. It's a very frail wrapping - do you see? You're probably half asleep, aren't you? I just wanted to say that we're very fragile. Amazingly so... "

Amos Oz.